I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
