just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
i need some magic done to my vagina
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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