I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
how can u be prego again
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Never joke about your clitoris.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
