Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish I could teleport
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
