We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
