oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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