I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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