if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
