Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I wish you could order shots online.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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