I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
