Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
