This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My liver just broke up with me...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
