So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
