she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
