last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
