how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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