I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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