Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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