I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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