There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
