I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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