You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
