do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
