In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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