fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
