I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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