Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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