My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
