the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
