just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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