super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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