Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Come see our sink grown plant.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
