i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
