That's intense
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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