are you still at the devil's house?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
