GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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