Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
