you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
