you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
