is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
