whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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