dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
