Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
even my farts smell like vagina
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
