U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
The ass gains better be worth it
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