Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
