Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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