u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
