You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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