what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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