naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
