You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
