i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
