ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
