3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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