the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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