never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
