she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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