Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
