he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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