Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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