the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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